Angie exhaled and shrugged her shoulders. “Then I dunno. I mean, from the way you described the date, a kiss at the door would definitely have been the right way to end it.”
“That’s what I thought too!” I sighed.
“Maybe you should just wait until you see him again and, you know, test the waters? Find out a little more ‘bout how he feels about you. At least you shouldn’t jump to any conclusions just yet.”
“Can’t I just ask him?”
She looked at me, shocked. “And risk loosing face? No, you should just find out casually with investigative questions that won’t reveal your mission. Trust me! What if he told you that he wasn’t attracted to you? Wouldn’t that be a slap in the face? Wouldn’t that upset you? Plus, he would know your feelings and your friendship would be ruined.”
“I guess you’re right. Ok, I’ll just see what happens then. But I haven’t heard from him, so who knows if I will ever get the chance.”
Another day went by with no word. But on day three the phone rang; it was Michael. He had just bought a new camera and asked if I wanted to come over and try it out. I of course said yes and despite the front door incident, I was looking forward to seeing him again.
When I arrived at the condo he shared with LaToya, no one answered the door. I knocked again, this time harder, but still nothing. I turned the knob and to my luck it wasn’t locked. Standing in the hallway, I called out his name, but all I got in response was a car honking down on the street.
I went into the kitchen and got a bit scared. Everything was a mess! It looked like someone had a fight. Several cabinets were open, kitchen supplies were scattered about and the fridge was ajar. Food was spilled on the floor and I could see foot prints in the spilled flour; they were leading into the living room. I was getting a bit panicked.
“Michael! Michael!” I called; loud this time.
I ran into the living room, but it was empty. I called out once more and got startled out of my wits when someone came in from the balcony and said hi; it was Michael.
“Michael, what the hell happened? I thought something bad had happened to you!”
He looked perplexed. “But why?”
“The kitchen is a mess! Looks like a struggle took place. It freaked me out.” I was talking very loud. “So what happened?”
He looked a bit embarrassed and said in a faint voice. “I made cookies.”
If I hadn’t been so scared I would have laughed. “You made cook… What?”
“Yeah, I made cookies for you and me. I just got distracted and forgot to clean up. I’m sorry if I scared ya’.”
A few seconds of silence went by and then we both started laughing. I realized my hands were trembling and I was so relieved that he was ok.
When the laughter subsided I offered to help him clean up the mess he had made.
After half an hour, the kitchen was clean and we were sitting on the couch eating the cookies. They were a bit burnt, but still delicious. Michael had hardly eaten any of them. He was too busy “ooh’ing” and “aah’ing” at all the cool features of his camera. While I ate, I observed him and he didn’t seem to notice. While we were cleaning, we engaged in some playful banter and acted like two teenagers who had crushes on each other. He would spray me with water and I would retaliate; when I went for the flour with the intent of throwing some of it on him, he came in from behind and locked his arms around me to prevent the attack. I felt a sudden warmth spread inside of me and my heart started racing. I don’t know if Michael felt them same, because he suddenly became serious and said that we’d better hurry up and get it done before Latoya came home. I was a little disappointed; I liked having his arms closed tightly around me.
I really wanted to know how he felt but I remembered Angie’s words and I didn’t want to lose face. It would definitely be better to just see where this went and have him make the first move. I didn’t want to lose him as a friend and I knew that if he rejected me, it would be incredibly hard to see him again. Yeah, I would wait and not take any unnecessary chances.
Michael had evidently asked me a question that I hadn’t heard and when I didn’t answer, but just kept staring at him, he asked me again.
“Oh, sorry Michael, I didn’t hear you.”
“I just asked if I could take your picture. You looked far away. What were you thinking about?”
“Why didn’t you kiss me last night?” So much for waiting! Dammit! I held my breath, but Michael didn’t say a word. He just sat there, frozen in time. Shit, this was going to be it. He would tell me that he didn’t like me like that and I would run from the apartment crying. He looked up at me and into my eyes and I was getting ready for the devastating impact.
“I want a pear! Do you want a pear?” And with that, he jumped of the couch and disappeared into the dining room.
What had just happened? I had asked him why he didn’t kiss me and his response was to offer me a pear! I didn’t know how to react and just sad there, gob smacked. A few minutes went by before my brain started working properly after the weirdest conversation in my life had taken place. I got up and followed his trail. And what do you know! There he was, knawing on a pear!
I tried to sound calm when I spoke. “Uhm, Michael? What just happened?”
He looked up at me without removing the pear from his mouth and then looked away again. He took a bite and started chewing it very slowly. He still hadn’t answered.
“Michael?” I asked a little firmer this time. He finally responded.
“What?” He said meekly. He kinda looked scared.
“What do you mean ‘what’? I asked you a question and now you’re eating fruit!”
“I just wanted a pear. Can’t a guy feel the need for a pear?”
I sat down at the table across from him. “Seriously, Michael. What’s going on? It’s ok if you don’t like me, you know, like that. I….I just wanted to know, because I kinda thought you did.” My voice had taken a softer tone. Mainly because I still feared the answer, but also because Michael looked sad.
He was looking down at the table now, avoiding eye contact. “Michael?” I tried to nudge him. “Michael please say something? Would it be better if I left?”
He finally looked up and put down the pear. “No, I don’t want you to leave. But there is something about me that I guess is not like other guys. You might think I’m a nerd or something when I tell you.” His voice was barely audible.
I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Michael, you know what I think of you?” He shook his head. “Well, let me tell you then. You already know how crazy I was about you in school, remember? And…uhm… after seeing you again I have realized that I still feel that way. I mean, you’re just so nice and funny and gallant and hansom and…. What’s not to like? And I guess I thought you felt the same and that is why I was kinda thrown by the other night. I really do like you Michael.”
Even though I had just given him a nice compliment, he still looked sad and nervous. “You’re still gonna think I’m weird or a nerd.” He pressed on. I gave his hand a squeeze. “Try me!”
He hesitated but finally gave in.
“First, I want you to know that I like you too, ok?” I smiled, but not too much, ‘cause I didn’t want to scare him. “You know I’ve had a different life than most, right?” I nodded. “So…. uhm….my brothers were much more, you know, out there…like with girls. You know, they were with the girls a lot. And…uhm…I was not.” I waited for him to continue, but he was silently chewing on his bottom lip. I wanted him to continue. “Ok?” I tried. He looked up and sighed. “Well…uhm…I was really shy and stuff because people were always lookin’ at me, so I never, uhm, you know…with girls ‘cause I was shy.”
I had a feeling about what Michael was trying to tell me. I suddenly felt bad for him and I needed to make him understand that I didn’t care.
“So you never kissed a girl before.” He cringed. “You wanna know how I feel about you now?”
His shoulders sank. “It’s ok, you don’t have to say it; I’m weird.”
“That is not at all what I wanted to say.”
He looked up at me with surprise in his eyes. “It’s not?”
“No, not even close. I think you’re nice and funny and gallant and hansom. So what if you haven’t kissed a girl? You should only do it if you feel it’s right. You actually made a good decision. I sure wish I had been more selective.”
He was smiling now, looking all cute and embarrassed. “You mean that?”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
He looked relieved. “Thanks.”
I let go of his hand and sat back in the chair. “Now, can I have a pear please?”
The rest of the day went by very quickly. We were listening to records and taking silly pictures with Michael’s new camera; just having the best time. When he was laughing the butterflies in my stomach went nuts. I loved looking at him having fun, ‘cause it was so real and also very contagious. I forgot time and place when I was with him and my feelings for him grew.
When it became time for me to leave, he followed me to the door.
“So… I had a great day Michael.” I was very much hoping that this would be it, that now he would kiss me.
"Yeah, me too. Do you wanna get together again soon?”
I nodded and stepped a bit closer to him. “I would absolutely love to.”
I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. He nervously licked his lips. I wanted to do that too!
Aw man! Not again!
“Oh, ok… yeah, call me or whatever.”
I couldn’t hide my disappointment and turned around to leave.
Right before I pressed the elevator button, Michael called out to me.
“Wait!” I turned around and saw him running down the hall. He stopped in front of me.
“I’m sorry. But I don’t know how. I really want to, but… You’d have to show me.”
I could tell that this was hard for him. Perspiration was forming on his brow. “I want to kiss you.” He continued.
I smiled at him and took both his hands. “Close you eyes and just feel it and follow your instincts. Just, try to contain the saliva, ‘kay?”
He giggled. “Ok.”
I closed the space between us with my body and stood on my toes to reach him. I could feel his quick breath on my face, his lips were slightly parted.
“Here we go!” I whispered and with as much care as I could possibly muster, I lightly pressed my lips against his. His lips were incredibly soft and I just lingered there for several seconds.
Michael had been holding his breath the entire time and when I released my lips from his and stepped back, he let it out.
“Wow!” He sighed. “I liked that a lot.” His eyes were still closed, but he was smiling and so was I.
“I liked it too. You wanna try it again and maybe, you know, ad a little something?”
He opened his eyes and raised his eye brows. “Yes, I would like that very much.”
I stepped in close to him once again. “Michael, put your arms around my waist.” He obliged and I put my hands around his neck, entangling my fingers in his soft afro. He closed his eyes once again and my lips reached for his. When they made contact I carefully let my tongue dart out. After a few seconds, Michael greeted it and let it into his warm mouth. Very slowly I started massaging his tongue with mine and just like I told him, he followed his instincts and did the same to me. It wasn’t too fast, it wasn’t slobbery; it was just right!
His grip around my waist tightened as the kiss deepened. We let out a sigh in unison and our breaths were picking up. I was revelling in the sensation and momentarily forgot where I was. I was getting dangerously turned on and to my delight, I could feel against my hip, that Michael was too!
When the kiss ended, we both looked rather dazed. “Oh my! You sure you’ve never done that before?”
He nodded and smiled.
“Damn, you sure could’ve fooled me. As far as I am concerned, YOU have nothing to be nervous about in the future!”
“Maybe I just had a great teacher?” He was still holding me.
“Give yourself credit, Mike. I just told you to go with the flow. The rest was up to you. And you made me weak in the knees.”
Michael looked pleased. “I’m glad. We’re definitely gonna be doing this a lot more!”
“Promise?”
“Oh yeah!” He laughed before leaning in for another kiss.
We spent the following visits in a constant lip lock. Michael was getting better and better and I felt like I was on cloud nine. We never went further than that though. Michael held his distance when it came to that, but he didn’t do it in an obvious way. He just made sure the line was never crossed. I didn’t push it, ‘cause I figured that he had only recently had his first kiss and there was no need to rush anything. So, we stuck to making out; but we sure did it good!
Of course I was getting sexually frustrated, but luckily I had Mr. Vibrator at home and I had properly named him Michael. I’m sure Michael felt the same frustration and had to find release himself as I noticed a tube of hand lotion on his night stand, and it wasn’t like his hands were getting any softer!
After coming up for air during one of our kissing sessions he asked me if I wanted to come to the wrap party for The Wiz the following Saturday. His entire family was flying in and he wanted me by his side. I said yes without hesitating. At this point I would go anywhere his lips asked me.
“Are there going to be any famous people there?” I asked nervously.
We were sitting in the hired limo on our way to Studio 54 where the party was being held. I had rented a beautiful champagne coloured dress that hugged my body in all the right places. Michael thought it would be fun to match, so he had added a handkerchief to his suit in a matching colour.
“I guess. I mean, the cast is coming. Not really sure who else. Didn’t ask, really. Why?”
“Nothing. Just a bit nervous. Are you gonna be performing?”
“Yeah, I think the plan is for me and Diana to do a number from the movie. Mother wanted me to include my brothers, but they weren’t even in it. Matter of fact, they thought the idea was stupid.”
“Hm…. Well, at least you made a movie. You should be proud! In fact, I have been wanting to tell you something for many years now. I kinda followed your career after school. It was kinda hard not to, ‘cause you were pretty much everywhere. But the thing I wanted you to know is that I’m so proud of you. I know it probably sounds corny and it’s something a mother would say. But still. You made it happen. I think you’re awesome. And I can’t believe I get to make out with you! That has been my dream ever since high school.”
Michael again looked embarrassed; happy, but embarrassed. That was one thing I couldn’t figure out with him. He could be all over me, wanting to kiss me no matter what we were doing, weather it be playing Monopoly (which he cheated in and thought I didn’t notice) or watching The Three Stooges. But when I complimented him or just told him something nice about him, he would get embarrassed. But as much as I found it hard to figure out, I also found it endearing.
“So you dreamed about me, huh?” he said with a cocky smile.
I leaned in and said in a low voice, “Oh Michael, you have NO idea.” I found his mouth and intruded it. Michael happily responded. I slowly let a hand crawl up his thigh and this time he didn’t seem to want to stop me. The further up it went, the quicker his breath became.
Just before I reached the goal of my quest, the door was flung opened by a valet.
“Welcome Mr. Jackson… Oh, sorry Sir.” The poor man could see that he was interrupting something.
Michael quickly broke away and looked absolutely horrified. “Uhm, we need a few seconds.” He grabbed the car handle and slammed the door shut again.
“What’s wrong? Why aren’t we going inside?” Not that I would mind spending the night in the limo.
“We are, in a few seconds. I need to…. uhm…. I can’t stand up right now. People will see.”
“See what?”
“Well, that I’m….excited.” He whispered as he looked in the direction of the trail my hand was following just seconds ago.
“Oh, I see.” It was hard not to laugh. Especially when Michael stared naming things that would get him less excited.
“Jermaine….. Tito dancing….. Joseph… Joseph dancing….. LaToya singing….. Jermaine….”
After a few more chants, he finally opened his eyes and looked at my amused face.
“Ok, I’m ready now.” He tapped the door window and the valet once again opened it and welcomed us to 54.
The place was jam packed with celebs and non-celebs. I clung to Michael’s hand tightly as I was afraid of drowning in the crowd. He introduced me to the people he had worked with; Quincy Jones, Nipsy Russel and of course, Diana Ross! Just a few minutes after we had arrived, a shrill voice managed to cut through the music and into my inner ear.
“Yoo hoo, Michael darling! Where have you been hiding sweet heart?”
She pushed through the crowd of people while franticly waving at Michael, whom all of a sudden looked like he had just seen the holy grail. I immediately disliked her!
When she reached us she hugged him tightly, and for a long time, and I felt rather left out. They instantly started chatting about everything and nothing and I got the feeling Michael had forgotten all about me. What was it with that woman anyway? Her hair looked weird and she had bug eyes! What was the big whoop?
After about ten minutes of non-excisting, I tapped Michael on the shoulder and informed him that I was gonna go to the bathroom. I needed a way of getting his attention without seeming like a child looking for it. He seemed to realize his mistake.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to be so rude. I want you to meet Diana first.”
“Oh yay!” I thought.
He put his hand around my shoulder and for some reason Diana’s happy expression turned a little sour. He did the formal introductions and her handshake was anything but warm. I had the feeling she was feeling threatened. She sure gave out that desperate-old-crone-looking-for-young mens-attention vibe, and as soon as she let go of my hand, she pulled Michael away from me. Of course in a way that wouldn’t seem too obvious; or at least not obvious to Michael, who was beaming, to my annoyance.
“You know, Michael and I go way back. In fact, I taught him a lot and he means the world to me, don’t you Michael?”
Did he just drool??
“He even lived with me at some point. So we have a very VERY strong and loving relationship, wouldn’t you agree Michael?”
He just nodded like a little lovesick puppy.
“Oh, I see. And how old was Michael when he lived with you?” I asked, already knowing the answer as Michael had told me the story about how the Jackson Five got started.
“He was a cute little 11-year old. Just the cutest in the world I tell you.” Diana enthused.
“That IS cute. So it’s almost like you were…. his surrogate mother? I’m sure the age fits perfectly. You are a quite bit older than Michael, aren’t you? Like 14 years older?”
Diana was still smiling, but her eyes were not.
“I guess you could say that. But I was quite the sexy mom, wasn’t I Michael?” She said and pinched his cheek.
Michael looked like a happy tomato; embarrassed, but happy as hell. If he didn’t stop that soon, I might just make ketchup out of him!
“Ah yes, but like all moms, they grow old and have to let go. Otherwise they get kinda clingy and desperate. But that’s just my opinion…. Miss Ross.”
She didn’t respond.
“Well, Michael. I must go and meet important people. You and your…uhm, friend here… have a good time now, ok? See you later honey.” She kissed his cheek, lingering there for a bit too long while eyeing me through the corner of her eye, and then she left. Wouldn’t it just be easier to piss on him to mark her territory?
“Wasn’t she just the nicest person you’ve ever met?” He asked filled with joy.
“Oh, she was just peachy. Can I get a drink, please?”
I managed to get through their performance by keeping my eyes on Michael the whole time. Of course, when he interacted with Diana on the stage and she was swinging her breasts at him, I looked away. But no matter what, he looked SO hot! He was like quicksilver, moving slickly across the stage, captivating everyone. This was his niche and it was obvious. He caught my gaze a couple of times and smiled at me and I smiled right back. He gave me butterflies and chills all over.
While he was performing, I noticed his family at the other side of the room. He hadn’t introduced me yet and I kinda wondered why. He always gushed about his mother and how Janet was such a spunky tomboy, but he never really mentioned the rest of them. He was very interested in knowing about what kind of relationship I had with my dad, but he never told me about his. The few times I had asked he had just shrugged his shoulders and changed the subject. It was pretty clear that he didn’t have fuzzy feelings towards that man.
I noticed LaToya had joined them and I saw her whispering to his mother and pointing at me. I quickly looked away, but I soon felt a tap on my shoulder; it was Mrs Jackson. She talked loud, trying to drown out the music.
“Hello. I’m Michael’s mother. My daughter told me you and Michael are friends?”
“Uhm, yes we are. It’s nice to meet you. Michael has told me a lot about you.”
She shook her head and smiled. “Well, I’m not surprised that I have never heard about you. He never tells me anything anymore, that boy. But none the less, it’s nice to meet you too.”
She extended her hand and we shook.
“Have you known him for a long time?”
“No. Well, kind of. We went to Montclair New York
“Say, are you that pretty little thing he wouldn’t hush up about back then?”
I blushed at her question but also because I found out Michael had talked about me. I nodded.
“Well, I’ll be darned. Didn’t think I was ever gonna get to meet this mystery girl of his. You know, I asked him to ask you over for dinner, but the little fool told me he chickened out. He was so shy then; still is.” She was laughing at the memory. I really liked her.
“Yes he told me. But he invited me out to dinner when we met again, so I forgave him.”
“I’m glad. I’d like to think I raised a gentleman. Ok, sweet heart, I am gonna go back to the others. Maybe I will see you later.”
I was kind of surprised that she hugged me since we had only just met, but I still hugged her back. When she got back to the rest of the family, I could see they were bombarding her with questions, but she seemed to indicate for them to mind their own business. I was glad she was the only one who approached me. I thought it would have been a little overwhelming to have the entire Jackson
Finally Michael was done and found me sitting at a table in the back.
“Hey girl. So, how did I do?”
He looked a bit flushed and sweaty from performing.
“You were the greatest, Michael! You owned that crowd.”
“You’re too kind, but thanks. Diana was great too. I love watching her work the stage.”
I chose not to respond.
“Oh, I met your mother by the way. She’s very nice. I can tell you take after her.”
“You didn’t meet my father did you?” He sounded worried.
“No, why?”
“Nothing.” He relaxed again. “I’m actually kinda tired. Do you wanna get outta here? Maybe catcha movie?”
“Sure. But what about your family? They travelled all this way?”
“I’ll see them tomorrow or back home. It’s no big deal.”
I didn’t argue, so I took his hand and we headed for the door. But before we made it out, a brute voice called out his name. When Michael heard it, he stiffened.
“Hello son. Leaving so soon, are you? You didn’t even say hello.”
Michael slowly turned around. “Hello Joseph. I… we…. I’m just tired, is all.”
Awkward silence followed. His father was eyeing me and Michael noticed.
“Oh, I’d like you to meet…” But Joseph interrupted him before he could introduce me.
“It’s ok, your mother already filled me in. Well, well, just when we thought it was never gonna happen, huh boy? I was worried there might be something wrong with him.” He said turning his attention towards me. I could see Michael’s jaws clenching. I kinda knew what Joseph was talking about, ‘cause Michael had already filled me in on how he had never had any girlfriends before. But why was his father being so mean when it obviously affected his son?
Joseph didn’t seem to care or notice so he continued.
“You know, this boy is so damn shy and sensitive. He thinks he’s ugly and that his nose is too big! Can you believe it? He looks just like me. What the hell is wrong with that?” He was grinning, but Michael looked devastated. Again, his father didn’t notice.
“He had pimples, you know. Made him all insecure and he got all cry faced when his brothers teased him about it. It’s what brothers do, right?”
I didn’t really know what to say and I could feel Michael squeezing my hand.
“But I’m glad he’s over that now. Got himself a real looker too.” Joseph said and nudged Michael’s shoulder, totally oblivious to the situation.
“Joseph, please.” Michael stuttered. “We’re just gonna go now, ‘kay? Can we just go home?” He whispered to me with urgency.
“Aw hell son! Stop acting like such a girl. I’m only messin’ whicha. Can you believe him?” He said to me.
I looked at him and then at Michael. Then I smiled and turned to face his father.
“Actually, yes I can. And you are right. He is not ugly. He’s very hansome, but he looks nothin’ like you! Come on Michael, let’s get out of here.”
And with a wide eyed Michael by my side, I left Studio 54.
